Just mental masturbations, mon cher ' Pauly' . That's all.
I understand this is THERAPY for you BUT you are missing the point.
The point is that YOU DO NOT WANT to sort out this "flat" situation at all.
You are actually enjoying the trials and tribulations of the whole thing.
I AM A THERAPIST. I RECOGNIZE A CLIENT ~ PATIENT WHEN I SEE ONE.
THERE ARE PLENTY LIKE YOU AROUND IN THE UK or indeed in the whole of the European Union / EU.
your NEW! Macchiavelli-trained-Therapist