popEx punters went on a crazed trading spree today as "The People's Admin" slashed the transaction tax from 1.5% to 0.5%, and abolished the minimum £1 charge.
As always, however, the poorest sections of society will not benefit, as Mr. Clarke explained to an empty room this lunchtime:
"The only way I can justify these tax cuts is by mugging people who can't fight back. So in order to balance the books, I will tonight be creeping round London in my Hush Puppies stealing from the disadvantaged. By tomorrow, I expect to have raised 49 MacDonald's coffee cups with loose change in them, amounting to no less than 98 pence. If these people want to see "their" money can, they'll just have to get online and play MY trading game."